My house I've been living in for a year and I'm moving out

well, I've moved into my new place but we've got the landlord

coming round in about 5 days to check the house is alright

and to make sure it's clean and after 5 students living in it

for a year. It's not that clean. Bottles like that that have

probably been there for the year, cigarette butts- they don't really

need to be here. I don't think this room's ever been hoovered and

we've been here for a year. It's not as dodgy as it seems. A few of

us who live here have got hay fever. This is one of the holes where

the mice came through just in the radiator and when we want a bit of

privacy, it's quite simple, you just take a rolled up sock and stuff

that sock there. Oh my god! Have you seen under the sofa? Jesus man

that's gonna take ages. I don't wanna pick it up. Arr, there's loads

of mouse poo behind here. Like loads of mouse poo. And Oreo cookies.

I'll cover that up, pretend I didn't see that. Arr! (Laughter)

We've got body form, err, sanitary towels even though there's four blokes

living here. I don't know why they're there. That's mouldy beer. That's

been there for about 6 months.

I see no reason why that won't work. That'll be fine, just needs

fresh water.

I got a gig tonight. (Laughter) Not doing that, not doing that.

People have told me that my glasses look quite cool, that may be the

case now, but if I'm still wearing these when I'm 40, I'll just look like

a paedophile. Where's the cut-off point? I's like a cliff. Having a

nice walk, having a nice walk then suddenly, argh! Paedophile.

(Simon's friend)
Do you have to wait til the end?

It depends how the set goes. If I do well, I'll wait til the end to see

who the winner is but if I die then I'll probably just leave (Laughter)